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August 2007 Archives

August 4, 2007

you may be right, i may be crazy

I had the chance to turn over the worm bin again this week and replace the bedding. Its the third time I've done it and I finally got used to not attempting to save every single itty bitty baby worm (it just takes too much effort and time). So as I was wrangling worms out of the comport and into their new home, I was thinking of Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan. You know, that part at the end where Spock is dying from radiation poisoning and him and Kirk have that last final tender love scene, where they confirm that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Just like with my worm box! Isn't perspective fun?

On a side note, one of my cousins views my worm box as some kind of prison where I trap worms and make them eat my garbage.. this is also true.

also, a small update on the car situation. I still have no car. I still have no plans to buy a car. Everyone still thinks I am crazy. I would like to point out that its not like I live in a household with no car at all. There are two of us, and there is one car. We just don't need two of them. and on that note, I would like to thank the loml for letting me drive his vehicle like a maniac!!!! (just kidding honey!)

August 10, 2007

the things I said

I have one regret today.

I was in the dressing room at H&M, trying on clothes. As I was leaving, I saw this pretty blond girl, about average weight, trying on a skirt. She asked her boyfriend "What do you think?".

Already, I see this is a terrible idea. I mean asking your boyfriend. Women's fashion can get pretty subtle and unless you want your man to be gay, expecting an informed opinion from him is a bad idea. However, I've done it too.. so I don't want to be too harsh here.

Anyway, her bf says "looks great, good length, I think you should get it".

And this is where my regret comes in. Cause I didn't say a damn thing. But I took one look at that skirt, and what I almost said was, "Its about 2 inches too long for you. It cuts off right where your calf swells, and it make it look like your legs are getting fat. Which isn't true. But that's what it looks like".

boy, i sure hope she didn't buy that skirt.

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i just found this weird little website titled Wish: Anonymous online wish sharing. Its not particularly amazing and it did try to run some annoying advertising. But it was neat. People's wishes were things like "I wish that would marry me", "I wish that we would stay friends forever", "I wish I could talk to my mother", "I wish for Superman POWERS!". hahahaha

August 13, 2007

is it like hitting your head with a stick?

the answer is no. it isn't.

ok. This weekend I picked up a book on whole-body Vipassana meditation. The goal is to train yourself to think in a more honest state of mind and to be in the moment, instead of dragging around the horrendousness of yesterday in your head.

I tried it yesterday. The book recommends that you meditate 2 hours a day plus 5 minutes before going to bed. I managed to do 45 minutes plus the 5 minutes before bed. I am not going to go into the details of the practice right now, but I will tell you one thing.

Every work day for the past week, I have been waking up at 5am worrying about project status for work and the people that I have to deal with. This morning, I have a vague recollection of reaching consciousness with the thought of work and then having the immediate realization that it was nothing worth thinking about and I would deal with it at work, later. Then I went right back to sleep. It was AWESOME.

August 14, 2007

i'm sleepy - like the dwarf, you know..

oh boy. So I've been reading up on Vipassana meditation. My first attempt yielded such fantastic results (a.k.a. better sleep), that I hopped on the internet to see where the nearest meditation center was. These places actually hold multi-day retreats! Imagine 10 hours of meditation a day!

Well I checked out dhamma.org and there are only 10 centers in Northern America, 2 of which are in Canada. So it will take a little effort to get there. So I realized that first, I should probably get in the regular practice of meditation before I go.

I skipped meditating this morning in favor of sleep but was determined to at least make an evening meditation. So I set up in the spare bedroom, set my timer program to 15 minute intervals and began thinking about my nostrils.

I'd like to take a moment to address the timer program. Interval timers are really expensive. Check out this cadillac of yoga timers. After bitching to the loml about prices and such, he suggested that I should:
1. quit bitching
2. write some 2 line script involving an 'exec' and a 'sleep' on my laptop.

Now, I don't always listen to the loml even though he knows better. Instead, I wrote a 33 line script with argument processing, error checking, and a couple of nifty features (and comments). Its super fly and I even ripped off someone else's singing bowl wave file so that the interval noise is sooooothing.


but where was I? right, thinking about my nostrils. So the meditation is going well.. and perhaps a little too well, cause I started tipping over. because I was falling asleep. After about 5 'tips', I decided to stop. My focus was no where near where it should have been and apparently, I need to go to bed.

August 15, 2007

little sticks

tonight I made another attempt at meditation. In order to not fall asleep, I set my yoga timer for 5 minute intervals. It worked great at keeping me awake, but unfortunately it took me at least 10 minutes to focus. I shouldn't even be tracking that because it introduces goal orientation into the meditation which is counter productive. I didn't even hit a focused state until my laptop went to sleep ( I assume at 15 minutes ) and failed to sound off again. Somwhere around that point, I hit what felt like a really great state of body awareness. At some point, I decided to come out of it and attempted to stand up... which was a great idea, except my legs were asleep from the knees down.

yargh..

August 17, 2007

caffiene is so good

I am not a big soda drinker. Every once in a while, I will break out and have a baby size serving of coke or ginger ale ( I love italian sodas). Usually, I drink water or green tea. I drink so much green tea that I am that lab rat of a human who will actually experience the benefits of green tea magicalness. That is how much I drink.

but today, i was wiped out. enough to where I was getting comments like "you look like you are dragging". I look damn good today, but nothing can erase the fact that i was feeling like damp dish towel. here is a haiku for that:

my eyes are bleary
the body not aware that
day has started, now!

until, i had my morning cup. I was a little tired of the David Rios - Tahitian Tangerine blend I'd been sampling lately and decided to go for The Republic of tea - Blackberry sage, which is a black tea. I usually drink black tea in the evening when the sister and I are taking over the galaxy a la star wars battlefront style. But this morning, I think its safe to say, there was a little bit of happiness in the bottom of my cup.

August 19, 2007

american education

I was in a training class for work a few months ago. The goal was to train employees to the point where we could all get a professional certification (so that our department could say "95% of my employees are certified dillweeds... etc..). Anyway, we had hit a point in the course where the instructors were trying to teach us something that defied common sense. Half the class was getting agitated, the other half was asleep.

We had established that this was a confusing point, but to my mind, this was irrelevant. So I said "How do we have to do it for the certification exam?". And one of my fellow corporate dillweeds said "Hah! Look at this american education. Just want to know the answer and not understand why!".

This guy really pissed me off, for two reasons:
1) I have had a much better education (american and other) than most people
2) This training class was already ridiculous. Continuing to judge it at a rational level was worthless so we might as well get what we came for.

but today, I found myself taking another exam, again for work training. And something shocking happened. I failed the first attempt with a 76%.. the pass rate was 80%. Two things to note:
1) I probably wasn't taking it too seriously. I didn't even check my answers before submitting them.
2) there is no good second item to note. I was screwing around and relying on my excellent (usually) short term memory to carry me through the multiple choice exam.

For a moment, I wasn't really sure what to do. I had spent about 6 hours on the exam material and sure as hell wasn't going back through it all. So instead, I reviewed the chapter quizes. i noticed a few things I had gotten wrong, and then half way through, I QUIT REVIEWING.

you know why? I got 24% incorrect on the exam. I assumed an even distribution of incorrectness through the material and figured that reviewing halfway would net me enough improvement to pass the exam. I immediately retook the exam. and you know what happened?

I made an 88%. I passed. I was rewarded for my less than completely edifying approach to the course material. Thinking on this, I realized that this approach has worked for me through the past few years of my life. and do you know when this started?

After I graduated with my bachelor's degree and got a "real job"! And learned just like everyone else that none of the material you covered in college was applicable. That when your professors told you that the real lesson was to "learn how to learn", they were right.

Well, I guess what I learned is that exams are for dillweeds... or something...

August 24, 2007

grain of sand

I am now a huge fan of morning meditation. I wasn't sleeping well this morning, and after washing dishes, I figured I might as well give it a try. Change begins one step at a time or something, right?

The first thing I noticed was that my head hurt, a lot. I had a small headachey pain in the front right, my jaw muscles were tight as hell, and there just seemed to be fatigue all over the place. Yargh.... but I kept on going.

And after checking through the whole body, I went back to my nostrils. It felt right and then I just hit this great series of moments where I felt my whole body. I felt everything like I was one unit of sensation. I was a grain of rice with hot palms, head of fire, expanding lungs, and everything. These were fantastic moments, and very intimidating. I kept having these small thoughts, "can this last, will it get disorienting, what next?" but I stayed with the meditation.

After a while, I opened my eyes and I still could feel my entire body. Which was great because I could see as well. (I know that last sentence sounds weird). And then, I stopped meditating. And my feet didn't even fall asleep this time.

My head hurts less too.

August 28, 2007

vegas chunks

In case you were interested in colon cleansing, there a blog you can read here. (Mom: I don't think you want to read this).

I just got back from Las Vegas after three bleary-eyed, sorta inebriated, "why don't I put a twenny in that weird machine" days. and I must say, after three days of blinking and flashing and ching-ching-chinging noise, my body went into a total state of "DO NOT WANT". Really, I just wanted to go home and purge purge purge until every nasty bit of vegas was gone.

note* There is no point to this entry. It is entirely an excuse to post a link to the Poo Blog listed above.

here is what I learned in Vegas:
1) quit playing when you are up
2) quit playing when you lose your initial buy in.
3) quit putting money in those ridiculous machines
4) do visit the beer store on Las Vegas Blvd. Its much cheaper.

About August 2007

This page contains all entries posted to daisyblahg in August 2007. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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