daisyblahg

Well, its been a couple of days so here's a summary:

1) I am currently listening the the main theme for the Transformers movie. A big thank you to my sister, for a soundtrack I never ever would have purchased myself.

2) I seem to have injured my medial meniscus in my left knee while practicing the half-lotus during a 4 hour session. I did this a couple of times so there's no telling exactly what, but now I've got to let that heal before I get to my retreat.

3) The amazing loml did our taxes this year. YES its over.

4) Since I've lost track of the calendar, I had no idea it was April Fools. I'm sorry I don't have some elaborate web page prank.

5) Honey, if you are reading this: I'm practicing cooking Ethiopian food so come on home!

I just thought I would take a moment to clarify and add to the small group of outraged people.

IF you eat fish, then you ARE NOT vegetarian or vegan (and yes, I do think you are a dipshit and so do others).

That is all. Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200.

Thank you, that is all.

i like to work out at a little place called "Lady of America". If you haven't read my previous post on this, here is a quick summary: do NOT join this gym. ok, now back to my work out. I try to get in 20 - 40 minutes of cardio and I use the treadmills with the heart rate sensors to do it. Don't ask me to explain it but I can't take my own pulse worth a damn. The other day, the machine I was on indicated that I no longer had a pulse and refused to support my cardio work out as a result.

Well, seeing as I'm not dead, that really sucked. So I went out in search of a heart rate monitor (you know with the chest band and wrist watch receiver). I quickly realized that these things are in the same category as many little dinky pieces of consumer electronics. You just need it to do one little thing and do it well, but instead of just getting that, you can instead spend $10 more and get an extra feature. $20 more and you get 2x the features.. well, I don't play that way, so I was confidently heading for a reliable base model when I got caught. At $40 over the base price, you can get a women's heart rate monitor. Which means its more delicate looking and comes in colors like pink, avocado, and baby blue.. awwww.

hahaha - so I headed out to the local sporting goods megastore to convince myself that I really didn't need a sweet pink flower of a heart rate monitor. I had to ask a salesman to find the correct display, and as I stood there, perusing, I noticed the salesman was hovering. So I turned to him and he asked me "Is there a particular brand you are looking for?". So I say "You know how they make the monitors for women, with the different colors and everything? I wanted to see some of those."

The salesman responds, "Yeah, you women. You get all the colors with the red and blue... But men. Men.. We get.. black."

This is what I wound up buying (but I didn't pay that price).

here is what my day has been like today:

1) wake up
2) stay in bed an extra 30 minutes while deciding what to do with my today
3) read "dear abby" and check e-mail
4) get dressed
5) scoop kitty litter and put away dishes
6) eat breakfast while watching a "Dork Angel" rerun, otherwise known as "Hel-lo Jessica Alba". While watching the show, it struck me how silly it was (and I thought this only happened while watching Thundercats). The action music is pretty silly and the acting ain't that great. All it needs is some of that "na-na-nanananana" noise from the bionic woman show of the 60's. but as I type this, I remember thinking the show was pretty stupid when it came out too, so no big loss there.

--- more exciting updates to come! na-nan-ananana! ---

hey, I'm back. so here is what happened next.

7) Put some laundry in
8) vacuumed the house
9) worked out at the gym: This was some kind of fun, cause right when i've settled in on the treadmill, it looks like more "Dork Angel" is on the tv. How lucky am I? Actually, it turns out I am waaaay lucky because this episode is from later on when the show officially becomes known as "Hel-lo Jensen Ackles!". Hoo-boy, who needs Micheal Weatherly when you can watch Jensen? (this is a rhetorical question).
10) Ate lunch.

--- More updates later.. looks like a dorky day so far ---

Today I've learned about choices, or lack thereof. In my attempt to share, we will cover 2 not/choices each with a specific example.

1) Hobson's choice - The choice of taking either that which is offered or nothing; the absence of a real alternative. For example: the Hobbesian choice which is "Your money or your life".

2) Morton's Fork - Otherwise known as a Catch-22. For example, Sophie's Choice - This is really a book and movie, but if you've familiar, then you know how it goes. All the choices will have you damned.

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ok ok. Today i had a small setback in my quest to be gainfully unemployed. Last night I ruined dinner and had to order pizza. Today I ate 2 bars of german chocolate and didn't wash dishes. my world is so very very small.

Today I went on an adventure with my two friends, mr.heart-rate-monitor and mr.knee-brace. I read somewhere that adventure is just another word for almost dying, and I think today, I will agree.

I haven't run in about a decade. The closest I get to it, is in the airport, when I think I'm going to miss my connection. Even then, its probably just a quick hobbling dash. but now today, it was NICE outside. I was getting dressed for the gym when I felt really stupid about missing this delightful day. So it was decided, I was going running outside.

this simple decision got complicated really fast. I had on my little coordinated outfit, which my shoes didn't match. I found a matching hat from Lucasfilms (i have a techie hat collection) but it had no hole in the back for my pony-tail, so I had to switch to a lesser matching hat from Real (thank you honey for that hat)! I strapped on my heart rate monitor, got my knee brace.. and then I couldn't decide about the water.

Camel-pak? Carry a bottle? what to do? Thank goodness for IM, where one of my friends told me (given that it would probably be a short run) to hydrate before and after and not to worry about carrying around some water.

And off I went to the trail. I started out pretty good, other joggers were nodding hello at me, things were great... for like a minute. And then, I started getting that feeling that I usually get when I try to run.. that feeling like 'woah. i think I'm dying'. This feeling is the reason I don't run. I used to date a runner and he was always trying to get me to go out on runs with him. The one time I went, it felt like I was coughing on blood.

and lo and behold, my heart rate monitor agreed with me. Turns out I must have the worst cardio fitness EVER. I spent the rest of my time jogging slowly and then speed walking when it looked like my heart rate was heading for the max. (Mom & Dad: don't worry. I carry ID with me when I'm out there, so they'll be able to identify my corpse).

So that was it, 30 minutes of me in the suck.

I feel great.

exciting! I'm about 2 weeks away from heading out on my 10 day silent meditation retreat. I've got all my stuff and even more interesting, I now have people. When I signed up for the course, I offered to carpool out there. I was a little worried about getting stuck in the car with a weirdo, but seriously.. I think I'm already in that boat.

Anywho, I just got in contact with the two other people riding with me. Well sort of. I got a phone call from a man who was making the arrangements for his mother. Why she couldn't do this herself, I guess I'll find out. The other woman called me and she sounded refreshingly practical. As I type this, she's going to mapquest the directions out to the retreat so that she can verify my approach plan.

Interesting. we'll see how this turns out.

i had an excellent weekend. It was so good, that I decided to start off my Monday with a bang by watching two movies at the same time. So enter our two contenders for breakfast movie entertainment:

The champion: "Can't Stop the Music"
I paused on this movie because it features Bruce Jenner and I wanted to see what he looked like before the Kardashian's made him the hollowed out wreck of a man that he is now. An amazingly bad movie/musical about the creation of the Village People, this little gem shows some amazing beefcake at the YMCA. Who would've guessed?

The challenger: "The Hebrew Hammer"
I never bothered to watch this before because I thought it was one of those religious shows about Judaism today. Boy, looks like I was wrong about that. This movie features Andy DIck as Santa involved in an evil plot to eradicate Hanukkah and only the Hebrew Hammer can stop him. Guest appearance by Mario Van Peebles as the leader of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front.

The Fight: Wow, this one turned out to be a close one. The Music starts out ok with an unexpected appearance by a young Steve Guttenberg, but then fades with terrible acting and an the appearance of an all peach bedroom set during the first 'love' scene. The Hammer comes out swinging with an awesome beat-down where our hero, Mordechai, beats up some neo-nazis and then sets their bar on fire with a bottle of Manischewitz. The Music fights back with some crazy nudity at the YMCA and accompanying displays of athletic prowess, accompanied by swinging music. Yeah - I wanna stay at the YMCA.

Hebrew Hammer counters with an amazingly offensive sweatshop scene filled with little people and small asian children. WOW! but then loses it when the Hammer freaks out upon discovering that his girlfriend Esther actually gets along with his mother. The Music rallies with a great Village People concert performance set in San Francisco. I have never seen this much glitter on tv before. Hebrew Hammer strikes back with some amazing spitting in the name of proper pronunciation and abuse of Tiny Tim (you're a gimpy little b*tch!).

The Winner: So how did it turn out? 'You Can't Stop the Music' starts weird, goes on lame, and then finishes strong with a great concert performance that leaves you feeling pretty happy - if you like that kind of music. 'The Hebrew Hammer' started hilarious but the stereotypes get kind of tired in the middle. A great rescue by the Kwanzaa Liberation Front gets it across the finish line. The winner by a nose - The Hebrew Hammer. Adam Goldberg is a cutie but its really the excellent supporting cast that make this movie.

Today I had the opportunity to visit my local Home Depot. I was in the process of building a siege tower for my cats (do not ask - maybe some day I will explain the hard life of a cat apologist), and I needed to purchase some lumber and an electric saw. My previous electric saw had died and sawing 45 degree angles with a hand saw only resulted in a very ugly prototype.

so there I was, in the tool section, perusing. Now, I don't take myself too seriously. I know I don't need the $200 electric wonder saw, I'm building cat furniture! And it only takes me a few seconds to spot the entry-level offering: a $30 black and decker. The only features it came with were a gel-grip handle, a clip-on case for 3 blades, and a little notched piece of plastic on the front to help you sight the line you were sawing.

oh. the excitement.

but then, for twice the price, I could get a Makita saw and it came with a laser sight! OOOOOHH! A LASER!!!

I really had to take 2 minutes to talk myself out of that one. Mainly two minutes of repeating "all I do is make cat furniture. I don't build houses, I don't even fix houses."

of course, at this point, I've finished building the siege tower. Turns out the black and decker had all the features I needed, including the ability to make angled cuts so that was nice. I'll let you all know if the cats manage to raid anything.

well, I'm going to be taking a break for a few days. I'm heading into the mountains for 10 days of silent meditation. yep, for real. hopefully, I'll come back normal (assuming I ever was).

So what does one pack for 10 days of seated meditation with no access to a washing machine? If you're me, you don't actually own 10 days of anything. So I've resigned myself to smelling bad and I'm hoping some divine miracle will occur so that I don't actually have to wear the thongs I packed. Like I said, I don't have 10 days of anything really.

see youse guys later.