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Village People vs the Hebrew Hammer

i had an excellent weekend. It was so good, that I decided to start off my Monday with a bang by watching two movies at the same time. So enter our two contenders for breakfast movie entertainment:

The champion: "Can't Stop the Music"
I paused on this movie because it features Bruce Jenner and I wanted to see what he looked like before the Kardashian's made him the hollowed out wreck of a man that he is now. An amazingly bad movie/musical about the creation of the Village People, this little gem shows some amazing beefcake at the YMCA. Who would've guessed?

The challenger: "The Hebrew Hammer"
I never bothered to watch this before because I thought it was one of those religious shows about Judaism today. Boy, looks like I was wrong about that. This movie features Andy DIck as Santa involved in an evil plot to eradicate Hanukkah and only the Hebrew Hammer can stop him. Guest appearance by Mario Van Peebles as the leader of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front.

The Fight: Wow, this one turned out to be a close one. The Music starts out ok with an unexpected appearance by a young Steve Guttenberg, but then fades with terrible acting and an the appearance of an all peach bedroom set during the first 'love' scene. The Hammer comes out swinging with an awesome beat-down where our hero, Mordechai, beats up some neo-nazis and then sets their bar on fire with a bottle of Manischewitz. The Music fights back with some crazy nudity at the YMCA and accompanying displays of athletic prowess, accompanied by swinging music. Yeah - I wanna stay at the YMCA.

Hebrew Hammer counters with an amazingly offensive sweatshop scene filled with little people and small asian children. WOW! but then loses it when the Hammer freaks out upon discovering that his girlfriend Esther actually gets along with his mother. The Music rallies with a great Village People concert performance set in San Francisco. I have never seen this much glitter on tv before. Hebrew Hammer strikes back with some amazing spitting in the name of proper pronunciation and abuse of Tiny Tim (you're a gimpy little b*tch!).

The Winner: So how did it turn out? 'You Can't Stop the Music' starts weird, goes on lame, and then finishes strong with a great concert performance that leaves you feeling pretty happy - if you like that kind of music. 'The Hebrew Hammer' started hilarious but the stereotypes get kind of tired in the middle. A great rescue by the Kwanzaa Liberation Front gets it across the finish line. The winner by a nose - The Hebrew Hammer. Adam Goldberg is a cutie but its really the excellent supporting cast that make this movie.

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