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Meditation Retreat: Day 3

Note*
This is part of a multi-part posting about the 10 day Meditation Retreat I participated in. The names of the people I met have been changed, but for the most part, this is all as true as my biased and faulty memory can recall. I will not be describing the actual teachings/technique, not because I'm not allowed, but because I can't do them and you justice. If you would like to learn more about, you can go to Vipassana Meditation website

Cookie Day
The morning gong sounded off at 4am.

This morning, I just had to take a shower. Along with the new arrivals in the cabin, someone had shut the doors before going to bed, and I had woken up in a cold sweat. I had also been having startling vivid nightmares, which didn't help.

As I meditated through the day, I was becoming acutely aware of how distracted my mind was. Most of the time, my brain was either dredging up memories of my past, or replaying moments from movies, television, and books I had read. How well could I be functioning if I spent all my time replaying scenes from my past, in which bad things happened, I made bad decisions, or a combination of both? Which in some ways explained why I spent the rest of my time in fantasy media land. It reminded me of a scene from "Empire Strikes Back" where Yoda says "All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was... what he was doing. " Did you know that Yoda was a buddha?

There were some definite positives on Day 3. I had started to accept that there was no point in thinking about leaving, in any way. Physically, mentally, I was going to be here and I was going to meditate. I also noticed that when sitting cross legged, my legs would go numb after 30 minutes or so. If I just waited it out a bit, then changed position, I could actually time a whole hour. Even though I didn't want to be clock watching, it was a relief to think that I could just meditate away until my legs hit the ultimate stage of numbness, at which point I could change them up a bit and then meditate a little more until I got a break. And the best thing about Day 3? Lunch, of course! That day, we got oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I looked at the pile of temptation and then reached out and took one. Even though we weren't supposed to be in communication, I still didn't want to be that person who piggied out on the cookies. Of course, then I noticed that Sunny had taken two cookies! Two cookies! Still, I ate my cookie and was satisfied.

Afternoon and evening meditation went well. I had discovered two leg positions that I could stay seated in for at least 40 minutes at a time. That evening, I was feeling much better as I went to bed, even though I still heard Cracker Girl going through a lengthy, noisy, rolling around on the bed process before I fell asleep.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on May 8, 2008 9:38 AM.

The previous post in this blog was Meditation Retreat: Day 2.

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