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a klingon wedding

today I was sitting around thinking about part-time jobs I could do.

The first thing I checked out was Google. They always want quality checkers for their ads, on a temp basis. I've actually applied for this position before, but they never got back to me then, so I figured it wasn't worth another try. Also, I'm only fluent in English and that can't be helpful.

The next thing I thought of was being a contributor to a magazine. Those of you who may have been in high-school English with me are probably choking right now. I know, I know.. yet somehow, when I read the shitty one-page articles written by Joel Stein in TIME or the amazingly stupid postings from CNN.com's Living section, I think.. there is hope for me.

That is, until I actually researched this. Turns out to be a fairly harsh career choice and not one that's quick to get into. oh well, this is something I learned in college. Sometimes, its not ability or intelligence that allows you to achieve your goals. Its your ability to stick with the path you've chosen. and I've already stuck my way into 2 degrees.. enough of that crap. I want the easy route.

So finally I thought, "Hey, I'll become a marriage celebrant!"

There should be a market for cheap, non-denominational, unorthodox officiants, right? I know I used one for my wedding. I'll even do weddings in funny outfits if that's what it takes. After I do the first couple for free, I can charge a little money and I'm golden.

ha. ha. ha. Well, I googled around a bit and for some reason, my county wants me to be a member of a church. Why would I do that? They want to know about my clergy, how big it is, what the by-laws are... The Man is awfully picky (and by that I mean the Man who takes FICA money from my paycheck, not the Man in the Charlton Heston movies that show on Easter Sunday).

Now seriously, I've gotten married, and I've been to many many weddings. And believe you me, the last person you want conducting your wedding is someone who has a church and a clergy. What you need is someone who can project (voice), act confident, and FOLLOW YOUR FRICKIN INSTRUCTIONS when it comes to the wedding ceremony.

that's it. oh.. and they should dress nice too.

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