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the election

ITS HERE!

ok - i started out half an hour ago watching Fox "News" and eating a tub of slow-churned double chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. its amazing how Fox "News" is pretending to be an unbiased new organization. They even had Rick Santorum on (which I still can't help snickering about).

now i've ditched the ice cream, cause I don't need it. hmm.. Pennsylvania is leaning democrat. I've changed to CBS. They have a much better looking display than Fox and they've got John Glenn on to comment.

hmm, alabama has gone for McCain but evidently Oprah has already picked out a dress for the Obama inauguration ball. well everyone that was it. As you know, its Oprah's world; we merely live in it. I'm now checking in with NBC. Their election display looks alot like CBS but they also have a bar graph - oooh!

man, waiting for the results is boring. I'm checking out ABC, who now wins for the worst looking election coverage ever. They have a lame-ass ticker at the bottom and Rudy Guiliani as the commentor.. fan-tas-tic..

ok - i can either watch 'The Grudge II' or check out CNN. I've already seen that movie, soo... wow. CNN has just about every graphical representation of election results possible and is flashing them all at the bottom of the screen. colored maps, percentage bars, numbers, and some weird winged volume meter thing.. dang! and they have Anderson Cooper (who needs no explanatory link).

ooh - and beating out every news organization out there is some mystery station called TV-1 who has called Obama the winner based on the PA results.

ah, mccain just took georgia but its his 76 to Obama's 174. I can't believe they aren't willing to call Louisiana yet. If they go blue, I'll probably shit twice and die.

well well well. ohio has gone to obama as per fox "news" with 9% reporting (nbc and cbs won't commit yet). hmmm.. and they are saying its practically over. maybe i can go to bed early tonight.

oh there it is. Louisiana is red. looks like I'll live to see the inevitable voting machine scandals tomorrow.

and there goes new mexico and CBS has called the race over. If I can just hear about VA and I'll be done. and speaking of, Virginia has 79% reporting and its a deadlock. At this time, I would like to take a moment for every one of you dipshits who has ever stated that one vote won't make a difference to think about this and feel bad about yourself. right now. feel shame.

CNN has just called the race for Obama. Well, that's almost all the news orgs. and it looks like I'm not going to find out what the Virginia race is doing before I go to bed.

so good night everyone. Who ever wins, I'm sure the next few months aren't going to be fun.

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