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I'll cut you!

ok - so maybe yesterday's blog entry was angry. and I'll say it, I was pretty pissed off when I wrote it. I was mad at you, me, everyone, and the world. So enough of that, and on to today.

I got stuck in a meeting today. And at first, all I could think was how I wanted a job where I was allowed to say to the people I worked with " Excuse me, I have to go do some work" and then leave the room, without having everyone think I was a total asshat. but as I contemplated my notebook doodling, I realized that I already have an awesome job.

OOOF STOP WAIT - yes yes Yes!! this same job that I've been complaining about and threatening physical violence over! THis IS My Awesome job!

So what happened? Well, this morning I sat down at my desk. I pulled out my notebook and wrote the date on the page (just like everyday). but then I put a title on the page. "Life in Hell: Day 68". And that actually made me feel better, because at least I wasn't lying about how I felt. Then I proceeded to make a list of positives and negatives (cause I am DONE with the Delta list). And this was what it looked like:

Life in Hell: Day 68           3/9/09
Positives                              Negatives
Great salary                       sucky cube location
Warm office                       Infuriating co-worker
Decide my own work           bad bad <item redacted for future job security>

I stopped when I realized that I was trying to evaluate if our office supplies constituted a positive or negative. So later on, when I was stuck in my meeting, it was this same list I was looking over as I thought "I need a new job". Cause suddenly, I realized that my "positives" were really great! And I really did have just about everything I needed from this job. So why would I need another job, a different job, when this job allowed me the freedom to pursue my other dreams.

Seriously, I make a lot of money to sit in a warm office and work on what I want to work on. So once I thought about that, i decided that maybe I should focus on all the other things I wanted out of life. So there it is. My sudden leap into cautious optimism.


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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on March 9, 2009 8:16 PM.

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