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The big screen

first of all, I'd like to apologize to you, dear reader, for the slowness of the updates. I know you're all just waiting, WAITING to see what part of the house my cats get stuck in next. That being said, here is something I actually wrote 10 days ago but never published. I'm working on it, I swear. this and the house (which I know I said was going to name... Meowderley remains a favourite).

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We just switched to Verizon fios for our home. Which confused me for about 30 minutes. As in that is how long it took me to figure out the new channel arrangements (you have to cut me some slack here, the channels go up past a thousand if the numbering scheme is to be believed). Anywho, as part if the intro offer we got two months of free premium channels. The first hit is free right?

So last night I sat down to see what I had been missing these past few years. Which leads to the meat of my entry: movie reviews!

1. Journey to the Center of the Earth - starring Brendan Fraser. I was surprised by how much I actually enjoyed this one. I've seen the original (1959), which was awesome btw, and was glad to see that this one wasn't a remake as much as it was a continuation. They pulled off the Disney childlike sense of wonder thing of really well, and Brendan Fraser's stereotypical acting job was actually a little endearing. One and a half thumbs up (but only if its free)!

2. Fantastic Four - Rise of the Silver Surfer. I'm going to spare you my opinions on Jessica Alba playing Sue Storm (for once). I had pegged this movie as bad in advance, based on the 'quality' of the first movie and previews. I was sad but unsurprised to see I was right. The only good thing in this movie was a nice cinematic view of earth about to get eaten by the destroyer of worlds from space. Aside from that, the movie really really blew. One and a half thumbs down (you would have to pay me to watch this again).

3. Transformers. yes, i know there is a sequel almost out already. So this is a tricky one. I recall people really raving about this one. But the truth is, this is not a good movie. This is a bad movie. And not in a way that I enjoyed either. The plot was bad, the writing was bad, the acting was ok but offset by the fact that cgi robots can't act (at least not these ones). All of these things only underscored the attempted manipulation of audience emotions via shitty cinematic soundtrack/theme music/audio cueing. And I love movie music, but nothing illustrates how much a movie is failing to deliver than when the music conflicts with the viewing experience. "This is a heroic dramatic scene, so we're going to play the Big Music" - but it reality the scene isn't living up to its 'flight of the bumble-bee' -ness.

But in spite of these numerous failings, this movie kept me pinned to my seat for the last 30 minutes. And you know why? Cause I loved this cartoon when I was a kid! Hearing Optimus Prime say "Autobots, let's transform and roll out!" should have been the best part of the movie for me. And it almost was! The transformations were amazing! The robot fight scenes were fantastic! But they only made up maybe 10 minutes of the movie. So in the end, I just felt kind of dirty as I had cashed in a few years of nostalgia to sit through an hour of bad. A sad and smudgy half a thumb up on this one... and if I watch it again, I may just get bitter.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on May 31, 2009 5:37 AM.

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