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April 2, 2010

kiss my a** you posers

today is a ranty day, caused by the most innocent of sources.. HGTV. Yes, that's right. The home and garden network is what's pissing me off (yes, my world is so small right now). Evidently, its become vogue these days to buy a home that's "vintage". As in, "oh, I'm really looking for a vintage style condo."

You're what? Let's stop for a moment and pretend that we are educated. hrmmm, shall we consult a dictionary?
-------
vintage (adj):
1. of or pertaining to wines or winemaking
2. old-fashioned or obsolete
3. representing the high quality of a past time
-------

alright. so we all love wine right? That means number 1 is automatically cool. No problems there. Where we start running into problems is with definitions number 2 & 3, and I suspect its really number 3 that's making my blood boil.

For the past decade, we've been loving our vintage fashion. Let's go to the consignment store, cause I just loooove vintage clothes. And this was cool because it was about recycling and appreciating the unique trends and craftsmanship of yesteryear, until it became too cool. Then people started making "vintage" and now instead of old and cool, vintage now means "old-looking ugly shit that we're gonna charge you a huge markup on cause you're a sucker". (like the 'back to 80's' fashion trend that we just went through, you know?.. anyone.. bueller... bueller...)

but back to home buying. If you are looking for a 'vintage home', you are an idiot who can't adequately express yourself. and last I checked, being on the verge of indebting yourself for hundreds of thousands of dollars, is one of the last situations you want to be doing this in. You like old homes? great. How old are we talking, what style? colonials, victorians, the frank lloyd wrights of the early 1900's?? THERE ARE WORDS FOR WHAT YOU WANT YOU MORONS!

but don't talk to me about vintage, unless we're about to drink some wine.

April 3, 2010

roy "big tummy" nelson

ok - just to warn you, this entire entry is about MMA (mixed martial arts) so if you don't watch or don't care.. then don't read.

Otherwise, Stefan Struve WTF??? I'll say it again, WTF!!!!??

I am referring to this week's UFC matchup of Stefan 'Skyscraper' Struve and Roy 'Big Country' Nelson. If you are at all familiar, then you know that Stefan Struve (6'11'' from holland) is not a bad fighter at all. and if you watched season 10 of Ultimate Fighter, then you know that Nelson is this loud-mouth, who was the unexpected and non-fan favourite winner of the season. And I'm not just saying that cause I think he's an ass. Look at Frank Mir. That's a guy who is blatantly out for himself but I still like him (cause he's honest about it).

but back to Roy Nelson. In addition to being an ass, his primary fighting technique seems to consist of bull-rushing the opponent, knocking them over, pinning them to the ground with his belly, and then thumping them in the face til its over. which may be strangely compelling the first time you watch it, but it really gets old after the 3rd or 4th time.

that's why I was really looking forward to the fight with Struve, who said during pre-fight interviews that he was going to keep Nelson at a distance and pick him apart. This should have been doable and if you saw the beginning of this fight, it was comical. I told the loml, "Have you ever seen the footage of that fight between Bruce Lee and Kareem Abdul Jabar?" Because that's what it looked like in a strange way, Skyscraper Struve squaring off against short and tubby Roy Nelson.

but it ceased being funny the moment Nelson bull-rushed Struve, got inside his reach and yes, you guessed it, took him out. game over.

SO again I say, STRUVE! WTF??? WHY ISNT ANYONE TAKING ROY NELSON SERIOUSLY???? He's hauling a gut there! That takes muscle, come on people!!!!

arrrrghhhh.. So by all means, let Roy in on the title hunt. Cause dammit people, this supposed to be about more than brute force.

April 4, 2010

things not on the television

last night, i was lucky enough to catch the movie "Hitman" on Fox HD. And I'm being quite serious; I really like this movie. I love Timothy Olyphant and Olga Kurylenko is a beauty to watch. And I know I already blogged about how much I like this movie, but I'll summarize it again. The movie is based on a console game and what makes it so good, is that it doesn't try to be more than that. No social commentary, no super-involved plot. just a guy who kills a lot of people, and the acting was decent to boot. (which if you ask me, makes it a whole lot better than Avatar - take that James Cameron).

So why am I writing about this again? because while watching the movie last night, I noticed something funny.. and not ha-ha funny either. Now, this movie isn't exactly for kids. There is a lot of violence, blood, and russian hookers. So in order to show it on tv, they had to censor some of it. But you know what they took out?

All the close up scenes of Olga Kurlyenko's body. Seriously, as far as I can tell, that's what they removed; one scene showing her naked from the back and another that showed her breasts (i think). Because seeing a naked woman is going to really mess up little kids. ha-ha.. so funny...

Because when they did that, they actually changed the story a tiny bit, cause those shots weren't entirely gratuitous. The naked back scene wasn't necessary but the other scene was. Basically assassin #47 (mr. olyphant) has social problems due to his upbringing and he's not so good with women. Nika ,the russian hooker, (ms. kurylenko) knows this and she's not above pushing him on this front to gain a little control.

so there is this one scene where she has him pinned to the bed, she's practically assaulting him with her body and then ... that's it, fade to black, the next thing we see is that #47 goes on with his business, kills a lot of people, and sends Nika out of danger's way because he cares about her. awww. so sweet..

but the thing is, he never sleeps with her! after the censorship, it looks like he has though. She's naked, sleeping in bed, and sometime later you see him stroke her cheek during a farewell scene. but what really happened is that he's so uncomfortable when she's got him on the bed, that at the point when she practically has her hand down his pants and about to get serious, he totally injects her with a knockout drug and leaves her in the bed alone. this is the scene they cut out.

so, the ultimate question.. does it matter to the audience if #47 sleeps with a russian hooker? (hee-hee). well, it mattered to me dammit! if he sleeps with her, then he's a man who has let a one night stand with the only woman he's ever had dictate the course of his life.

but, if he hasn't slept with her, then he remains true to his socially screwed up upbringing and is instead risking his life for the first person he's ever empathized with. and this time, when he strokes her cheek before sending her away, its the most intimate moment they've ever had.

like I said, it matters to me.

April 16, 2010

is just another word

What's ironic about this weekend, is that I'm about to go look at vintage furniture.. Yes, I know. Vintage furniture, right after I just wrote that very nasty blog entry about how only idiots use the word vintage in the common parlance these days.

but, I try not to be a liar and that's what I'm gonna do. You see the house I live in, Meowderly, was built in the mid-century modern style. If you aren't sure what that means, in this case it means that my home was built in the 60's with an open floor plan, huge glass windows and a clean aesthetic. Here are some pictures that may help you visualize (note* not my house).

Now I don't need to do my entire home like I'm a swinger from the 60's but I thought it would be nice to do the living room at least, because its the one room that really looks like those pictures. But where am I supposed to get this furniture? Because if you've bought a couch in the last few years, then you may recall, right now we are all about overstuffed, upholstered, and i just don't know... but its not what I'm looking for.

So after some more googling, I found this place and they sell what I'm looking for and its vintage, and pricey. So I'm also going to look at IKEA, cause i think they may possibly be a little closer to that clean, low-slung aesthetic than anyone else.

this amuses me in a way, because I never thought I'd be shopping at IKEA because I liked their design aesthetic. hah!

April 18, 2010

don't harsh my mellow.

Yesterday was a good day for us and the economy.

So in a continuation of our journey in vintage mid-century modern furniture, the loml and I set off into the boonies. We headed for a store that specializes in this kind of stuff, and it turned out to be located in a huge warehouse filled with "antiques". Which made me kind of glad because I don't need to be paying for the overhead of a fancy showroom.

And I have to admit, some of this stuff was pretty impressive. and some of it was not. I swear I found a set of cabinets that looked just like ones that my parents owned when I was little, and it wasn't my goal to recreate their living room. eventually, we settled on this pair of daybed/sofas. They were in awesome condition and pretty cool looking, as you see below.

The owner of the store sold us a matching end table, which is actually a little tricky when you realize that these sofas are pretty low to the ground, which isn't exactly the current style. And after that, all we needed were accessories. I looked around for a coffee table and actually found this pretty nice matching glass topped table with chromed legs in another seller's showroom. He was all like, "this is vintage mid-century modern. this is from the PACE collection. this is not junk. blah blah blah." I asked him what his "price" was and he would only come down 10%! puh-lease! sometimes, a glass coffee table is just a glass coffee table. So I walked off, and he let me. Guess he wasn't that serious about selling it.

Instead, we headed to IKEA, where we found (you will never guess) a glass topped coffee table with chrome legs. "This is IKEA. This is cheap. This comes with coordinating end tables." Hah-hahahahah! I laughed all the way to the cash register. and we even got some lamps that match. Much thanks to the loml, who has a great eye for this.

So hopefully we'll get everything delivered and put together sometime this week, and the loml and i will finally have seating in our living room.

And as a treat for all of you, here is the vintage coffee table we DID NOT buy, though we were tempted. It just wasn't right for us.. but for some lucky shopper, who knows. and yes, it is exactly what it looks like. A square glass top supported by four plastic lamp globes.

About April 2010

This page contains all entries posted to daisyblahg in April 2010. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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