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a tale of woe or woah or something

so I came home today and was greeted by a happy baby. Which, my sister assures me, is not how the baby actually spent the day and I was just getting lucky. But anyway, the best thing to do with a happy baby is to haul them around the house with you because they're so much fun. Plus, it gives my sister a break.

So I hauled the baby off and decided to take little thing into the bathroom, as I needed to neti pot. I set her on the counter, keeping one hand around her 'cause I'm not completely indifferent to the dangers of leaving an infant on a high counter, and fiddled out the neti pot with my other hand. While I was doing that, the baby grabbed a bottle of listerine. I let her do it because she's been fascinated with the bottle for awhile. As she does this, I have this vague recollection about how listerine is dangerous for kids.

***note: no infants were harmed in the course of this story. Do not worry ***

anyway, she grabs the bottle and is happily fiddling away, while I got an arm around her. Since everything seems ok, I start neti potting. Now if you are familiar with neti-potting, you can understand that I had to turn my head to the side. If you aren't familiar with neti-potting, you can go here, but you must understand that at this time, my head is turned away from the baby and I can't see what she's doing.

So neti-potting along, all of a sudden I smell *something* and sure enough, little thing has managed to flip the listerine over, get the cap off the bottle, and its currently spilling all over the counter.

I curse, and haul the baby off the counter. She kind of cries a little, more from my sudden actions and settles. There is listerine all over the counter and its starting to get on the floor.. but I'm trying to think about the baby. So I haul her to the changing table and take off her fuzzy pink and brown leopard pajamas. They're wet. Her legs feel wet too. so I lick the baby. (now realizing in hindsight that licking the baby because she is wet is probably a bad idea and I should never do it again).

but no, its listerine on the baby. so I wipe that off, and now its bathtime for advanced little babies, as soon as the rest of the listerine smell clears from the bathroom.

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