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June 20, 2013

Stuff little miss says: Get you Dead!

I always imagined that I would need to worry about my daughter's peer group when she got older.  Like maybe in 5th grade or something, but it turns out that there is a bit of loose talk in the toddler group as well. In fact, it makes me wonder if the moment that people can talk, that is when misinformation begins. 
But to get to the story – I was in the kitchen a few weeks ago, cooking something in the skillet.  Little Miss likes to wander through and try to help, and I always tell her “Remember not to touch, the stove is hot”.  This time though, she had a response, “You can’t touch the pot, Momma! Cause its hot, and you’ll get dead!”
ooh-kay…  So I said, “I’ll get dead?” and Little Miss nodded and reaffirmed her statement.  Interesting. I’ve attempted to explain death to her a couple of times by now.  And yes, I know she’s awfully young.  However, I would feel like a terrible parent if I just listened to what other people said about how to raise my child. Anyway, the previous two death discussions didn’t go well and I need to write another entry to cover those, suffice to say I refuse to use the phrase “gone to sleep” because that is denial at an outrageous level… but again, story for another time.
So back to the kitchen. There I am, having a conversation with my daughter about touching hot items and death. So I ask her, “What happens when you get dead?” and good news, Little Miss had an answer.  “You get a boo-boo and then you have a band-aid”.  Oh, I see. Well then.  That’s probably a lot closer than I ever achieved with my previous explanation of death.  Thank you daycare peer group!

Stuff Little Miss Says: Mah-nam-mah-nah!

I regularly meet up with a friend who lives down the street.  She has two kids so crazy kid topics come up in conversation often.  One day we were talking about body part identification.  I think it is important for kids to know what all the parts are named so they can communication about them effectively.  For example, its not going to help if your daughter has a problem peeing and thinks that whole area is called “down there”.  Good luck troubleshooting that one.
The funny thing is that I think I’m liberal about this stuff, yet when push comes to shove I cannot say the sentence “That is your vagina” to my kid. Really, I’ve tried several times and inevitably wind up feeling like the biggest chicken in the room.  My friend has a boy and a girl; she uses the phrases “lady parts” and “boy package” and that works for her family.
So in the very first shower time conversation, where I failed to use the phrase “That is your vagina” (see, I’m hoping if I keep typing it out, I’ll magically be able to say it next time), I wound up saying “That is your… your… lady parts”.  Ugh – facepalm.
So, I attempted to regroup, which meant that I ignored the issue for a few weeks, assuming that part of my brain would gain maturity if I left it alone.  Hah!
Fast forward some.  We are back in the shower, me and the kid. I’m working on the appropriate use of soap because Little Miss has a tendency to rub soap in her eyes and then shower time turns into a screaming sobbing drama fest, because getting water in your face is apparently just as bad as soap in your eyes.  So a double screaming sobbing drama fest.  (yes – we have kid friendly soap but little persons like to use the same soap as mommy persons and there we are).
So we are washing up, and playing the game “what am I washing”. I am going first to demonstrate good will.  “What am I washing?”  “Elbow!”  “Little Finger!”  “Belly!”  And then as I get to my chest area, I get hit with that same ridiculous feeling which I am determined to shake. So, when Little Miss says “What’s this?”  I bite the bullet and say, “Breasts!”.  Which she repeats, very cute.  And then, what’s that?  “Nipples!”  which she also repeats Am I going down a rabbit hole, I just don’t know any more.
So she chews on her new vocab for a few minutes and I figure any lesson taught needs to be taught well, so I do a comprehension check and ask her “What are these?”  and she goes “Mah-num-mah-nums!”  hah.  Ok.  Fine by me.

Lies I have told my daughter

I don’t like lying to my daughter and thus far, I haven’t found it to be necessary.  I should also point out that I work in IT consulting so I have a lot of practice in phrasing. I am not saying that I verbally manipulate my child; I just choose to highlight different aspects of the situation.  Its like that story from Mr. Rogers, where he relates advice from his mother about terrible situations.  “Always look for the helpers. In any bad situation, there are always people helping”. Note* this is not an exact quote but it illustrates my point. You don’t need to focus on the negative aspects.  They will always be a reality.  That doesn’t mean the negative parts are everything.
Despite all this amazing truthfulness, I wound up telling my kid the biggest lie ever last week.  We were making the transition from a toddler bed to the almighty ‘Big Girl bed’. Our hands were forced by the fact that Little Miss had about 6 inches left on the length of her bed before she hit the boards.
So the loml and I hit up the mattress store, did some quick and dirty negotiating, and soon enough had a mattress delivery scheduled.  And then it set in.  Where we prepared for this? I’ve got stories from a dozen friends about kids who have refused to sleep in their new beds. And no solutions in mind.  So we figured that we would wing it.
The next day I hauled out to buy some sheets (and holy crap – the Target kids sheet aisle is only slightly less scary than the Barbie section of the Toy department), and then we picked up little miss from daycare.  “what’s all this, momma?”  “They are presents for you!”  ooh excitement.  So when we get home, I give little miss the sheets while the loml hides all evidence of the old toddler bed.  She is very excited about the sheets so we rush to her room to put them on the bed and SURPRISE!  She just kind of stops and stares. In the rush to fill the space, my big mouth opens and out comes “See your bed grew big, just like you!”
WTF?  I am busy shoving my face into my palm, trying to figure out where that came from.  Seriously, am I anthropomorphizing the furniture now?? Meanwhile, little miss is busy shrieking about how awesome her bed is and testing out the bounciness of the springs.  Which she continued to do for a solid 30 minutes.  So yeah.  No transition problems here.

About June 2013

This page contains all entries posted to daisyblahg in June 2013. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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