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July 2013 Archives

July 6, 2013

Oh sh*t

All, I am proud to announce that my child has officially selected her first "curse word". Good news Mom - you are officially off the hook for that one time when you said "sh*t" in front of your grandbaby and she repeated it. Because this time, she's actually cursing - with intent.

And now that I've built up some anticipation, I will tell you. It is "god dammmit"; technically, that is two words but i don't think that is the focus of this post. In fact,I can't recall what she was doing at the time - she was strapped in the car seat while I was driving, and she was miffed about something. "god dammit" i hear, and she meant it, i tell you, and then, just in case I didn't catch it the first time, she repeated it for emphasis.

'well', i thought, 'that makes sense', right after trying to figure out what level of non-response was appropriate. I'm pretty sure she got that from me, because once I realized that kids learn words from their parents, I made an effort to stop cursing. For some reason, I think "GDMT" isn't so bad, so its what I do tend to say around her. the other one i tend to use is "f8ckity=f^ckity=f*ck" but there are too many syllables in there for her to get it right.


The loml insisted I add this one. He finds it hilarious for some reason, probably because it happened to me, not him.

The little one has gotten a bit of an energy boost lately, so I've started taking her swimming during the week. Its a great use of our gym membership and I find it calming. It also has had the side benefit of making sure she is consistently washed.

The only problem is that I have to keep an eye on her skin. Frequent bathing, even with the mildest of soaps, can still irritate skin. So I also cart around a bottle of lotion for use after we bathe.

Putting on lotion has been pretty easy, ever since we resorted to bribery. I think its a natural stage of parenting that we all go through (asking, begging, threatening, bribery... - kind of like the stages of grief but without a dead body). In this case, its a serving of choclate milk. If little miss takes a 'good' shower (that means with soap), then she can have chocolate milk afterwards.

On this day, we had a nice swim, a good shower, and were just about to get dressed when I realized her cheeks were getting kind of ruddy, so I started smoothing some lotion on her face, only to have her step back and fix me with a steely glare (she is three, btw). Then in a grave tone, she warned me "Momma - you don't put lotion on my face or I'm going to leave".

wooo... She delivered that one pretty effectively. Well enough for me to reconsider what I was doing. hah - kids! (note how I am not going to share what I did next.. nope,I got to watch out for that kid of mine.)

the plumbing

Just recently, our little family went on a camping trip with another family. We are all good friends, partially owing to the fact that we both have kids. And when you are going through that kind of thing, you need sympathetic allies (and I am talking about the parents here; who knows what the kids are thinking).

After munching our way through some food and mucking around the campsite, a walk was proposed and several of our party (kids and adults) set out.

While we were out, one of the little boys had to pee. Since he wasn't quite settled in the whole 'using the bathroom in the woods' business, his mom stepped up to help him. "Ok - let's pick a tree" and voila - within minutes, a successful bathroom break had occurred.

Yay - except for the part where my little girl then decided that she too wanted to pee on a tree. I tried to disuade her, "Honey - you can't pee on a tree". "Yes I Can!"

wow - really, is now the time for Rosie the Riverter? I guess my kid is just resolute like that because she was totally convinced that she could pee out onto a tree as well.
As a parent, there are some points you have to concede. Besides, I couldn't figure out a good way to quickly explain to my daughter that peeing on trees is for boys - without sounding awful. I need to emphasize this for any non-parents reading - being able to quickly, concisely, and persuasively explain something to a toddler takes skill. And it looked like my child was going for it regardless of what I thought, so I just tried to get her clothes out of the way in time. So as I was tugging her shorts and underwear down, I realized that they needed to come completely off. As I'm about to tell her to pick up her feet, it becomes too late. The moment her pants were down, she focused on the tree (you should have seen the concentration!) and let loose.

and sure enough, she peed all over her leg and onto her clothes. sigh - oh well. I hear experiental learning is all the rage anyway.

About July 2013

This page contains all entries posted to daisyblahg in July 2013. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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