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February 2, 2010


Did you know that in some cultures, the mother (and possibly the family, I don't recall) eat the placenta after the baby is born? Anyways, the loml and I were heading back from our weekly birthing class and we were discussing the some of the topics covered.

The loml was expressing his rage at the use of the term "bag of waters". Personally, I don't have that much of a problem with it but I figure there must be something about it that triggers his ire. And the conversation went something like this:

loml: Why can't they just call it the amniotic sac? This class is full of these funny terms that are supposed to be more friendly (rant rant rant)

me : Yeah, I had no idea until two weeks ago that the birth canal and the vagina were the same thing! I know what my vagina is. I thought the birth canal was this thing that connected from the vagina to.. to.. ... the uterus.

loml: The stages of birth really piss me off too. The first stage of birth has like three parts, and then the second stage has two more.. Why can't they just call it the "seven stages of birth" or something, instead of labeling it 1a, b, and c, and then 2a and b...

me: Don't forget stage 3!

loml: Oh, that's when the < mumble mumble > comes out...(note* stage 3 occurs after the baby is born and the placenta is expelled from the mother's body)

me: Did you say pinata?

loml: No, but that's pretty funny.

me: hahahaha! pinata! Then the pinata comes out. Nom nom nom!

loml: That's when you hit it with the stick and all the little candies come out!

me: ewwwww! that's sick.. couldn't you have left it at "nom nom nom"

and there you have it, proof that these types of things are only amusing for the people involved.

February 4, 2010

at least its not a mountain of mashed potatoes

So I had heard that women do crazy shit when they are pregnant, but I had never anticipated that one of these things would be building a pillow nest. Things were going pretty well until I hit about 4 months, then all of a sudden, I couldn't sleep. Everyone (prenatal yoga, birthing class, the mid-wife) tells you not to lay on your back anymore because it places pressure on some blood vessel that's important.

So I have to sleep on my side, which would be awesome if I didn't keep waking up from the pain in my hips. So, I started wedging a pillow in between my legs, which sort of worked. And then I noticed that if I propped my head up with an extra pillow, I'd stop cramping my shoulder so bad. And then my yoga teacher recommend putting something under the ribcage, which was great. And then I wound up making a bolster for my leg, and be damned if moving a pillow or two behind my back didn't improve support!

All of this would've been great except there wasn't anymore room in the bed for the loml (I think he was upset by this).

So I tried rearranging all the pillows (1 body pillow, 1 bolster, 1 wedge, 1 knee support thingy, plus 2-3 normal pillows) but my Tetris skills failed me. And I stopped sleeping. So I hauled off to Babies 'r' Us and spent $50 on a snoogle. Note* this appears cheaper on Amazon, but I don't have time for shipping.

Some people think $50 is expensive for a skinny body pillow shaped like 'G'. Some people also haven't experienced sleep depravation for an extended period of time while being denied the sweet sweet support of caffeinated products or pain killers.

Some people love this thing, some people hate it but it let's me sleep through most of the night, and that's all I care about.

February 7, 2010

dancing queen

I was telling the loml that at this stage in the baby's development, scientists think that the baby can distinguish between the mother's and father's voices. So he immediately proceeds to make a number of suggestions directly to the baby.. most of which I don't agree with. So I cut him off and tell him that baby's also at the stage where it can be familiarized with repeated noises, like music.

And I'm not sure that helped at all because the next thing that happens is that the loml cuts off my Depeche Mode, and starts playing classical music. So now I (and allegedly, the baby) are listening to Vivaldi's flute concertos. So, I try to be optimistic.. Maybe now is the time learn what all that crap that NPR keeps playing is all about. So I listen and listen and a couple of hours later.. I am done.

Seriously, there's nothing wrong with Depeche Mode right? My parents listened to ABBA when I was growing up and I'm sorta ok!

February 9, 2010

someone else's baby

Hey, I think the xkcd guy is also having a kid:

today's comic is here.

here is a great one from previously, that hits close to home.

February 10, 2010

top chef

So the one thing that used to really bother me about being pregnant was not being able to take a hot bath. I also miss the sauna and hot tubs, but the hot bath part really upset me for a bit, cause there is nothing I like better than to soak for an hour in a ridiculously hot steaming tub of water.

but, like the loml says, "no cooking the baby!" So I have to settle for hot showers instead. So on a day like today, when its like a friggin' blizzard, I hopped into the shower for no good reason other than I was cold. and I turned the heat up up up! and then, I blocked the drain cause I figured I might as well let all that hot water warm up my feet instead of getting wasted down the pipes.

And after awhile, I started feeling great (really warm) and I started to wonder if I was anywhere near "cooking the baby". According to some reference (the internet, the midwife, a variety of pregnancy books I no longer bother to read), I'm not supposed to let my body temperature get above 102 degrees. So as I got out of the shower, I grabbed a thermometer and checked.

woo-hoo.. a whopping 98.2 degrees for me. What the hell?! I thought babies were supposed to be like little heaters strapped to your body. I'm not even at normal temp.

ugh.. and I should note that now is the time to get used to the idea that the baby will not be doing anything FOR me, now or probably for another 20 - 30 years... if ever.

February 16, 2010

my back

So one of the side affects of snowpocalypse is that I had to work from home for a week. Which normally sounds awesome but in this case really sucked. I'm not going to spew about how I was trapped in the house, because the part that really got me was how I don't have an ergonomic chair at home. at all.

Dinner table chairs aren't really made for long-term comfort, and I use a step stool in my "office". Even the lazyboy wasn't cutting it after three days. I eventually wound up sitting on my meditation cushion on the floor. ( sidenote: I happen to own this beauty of a 2-piece combo set in maroon. I know it seems expensive but if you want to get into a seated meditation practice, I think its worth it. anyways)

So the moment I made it back into work this week, I realized that my back problems weren't magically going to resolve themselves just because I had an ergonomic chair (though it helped). At this point, there are at least two knots in my upper back, one of which is threatening to kill my left arm, as soon as it completes its takeover of the nerve leading to my neck.

Those chickens over at Massage Envy only have two masseuses who "feel comfortable" giving a massage to a pregnant lady and the one I tried refused to use any kind of firm pressure. I wound up getting a body effluerage (not nearly as much fun as it sounds!) and thusly have placed a freeze on my account at that business.

So now at work, I replaced my chair with a stability ball and have set up an appointment with the on-site chair masseuse. I'm giving him 15 minutes to kill that knot in my back and if he's any good, I'll go back for a longer session.

February 17, 2010


So when you become pregnant, all of a sudden there are all these things you "can't" do anymore. Most of which appear to be bullshit, in my opinion. Like all the food restrictions against soft cheeses, deli meats, sushi.. etc.. You can eat whatever you want, just don't get food poisoning and make sure the cheese is pasteurized.

Or the part about not taking hot baths anymore.. The actual goal is to avoid raising your body temperature too high.. but I don't want to spend too much time ranting about this. I want to talk about the really dangerous thing I just realized I have to stop doing.

I can no longer boil eggs unsupervised. Turns out that my concentration is so bad these days, that I once I set the pot of water to boil on the stove, I forget about it. I've tried twice now, and each time I've wandered back into the kitchen to find an almost empty pot simmering the last inch of hot water into the air.

dang! who knew!

February 20, 2010

glass half full, or just getting bigger?

So that turkey timer that I used to call my belly button is about 60% of the way out. I don't really know how well it works as a 'done-ness' indicator but I guess I'll find out. In the meantime, I've taken the opportunity to really clean that sucker out with a q-tip and some moisturizer. Cause really, after this is over, am I ever really going to be in such an excellent position to navel gaze again?

omphalos people!

February 24, 2010

the latest

So the latest horrifying thing the loml and I learned in birthing class was that after you have a baby, you get to bleed for a bit. Because after the baby is born (and believe me, I had finally gotten over the horror of watching a video of this - CLOSE UP AND PERSONAL footage if you catch my drift), your body still wants to get rid of all this excess blood, tissue, mucus, bleh bleh bleh..

and as if the abstract information wasn't awful enough, my teacher then proceeded to get out her demo equipment to show what a woman gets to wear after the baby is born. And when i say wear, I mean underwear.

If my teacher is to be believed, my lucky self will get to wear a very large adult looking diaper, that is additionally stuffed with two more absorbant pads, on top of which will be placed a freezer pack. The freezer pack, I am told, is the best part of this business given that I will effectively be in possession of an open wound where my privates used to be.

and if that wasn't completely and totally more that I ever wanted to know, the whole mess gets held in place by a large stretchy underwear which my lucky husband will get to hold open for me while I hold the diaper ensemble in place, so that I can get into them.


WTF, WTF, WTF?????!!!

February 28, 2010

the best name ever

So at this point, the loml and I have been engaged in the never ending task of considering baby names. I have this fear that we won't pick one in time and then after the baby is born, we'll wind up picking something that sounds good at the time, only to realize a week later that we were crazy.

So I've been making a few lists, disregarding the ones that appear to be trending popular (sorry Olivia), and sounding them out with other people to make sure that there isn't a personality type associated with them (for some reason, Catherine and all Kate-based type names seem to go very "Taming of the Shrew" if you know what I mean).

So after a few weeks of searching, I found it. and by it, I mean "IT"! The perfect name! Its classy, its international, and it has an edge! But.. I can't use it. Sad, really, so now I must release it and I now give it to you, the internet... In the hopes that someone else can benefit from the amazing-ness.

I present to you....(drum roll): Vegas!

Its spanish, meaning 'the meadows' or 'fertile plains', and yet will also offend your grandmother. What more could anyone ask for?

About February 2010

This page contains all entries posted to Now With More Baby in February 2010. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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