Now With More Baby

sorry about the lack of updates, but I've been having some issues this week which have really made it hard to concentrate on the blogging. I'm fairly sure this is a typical problem for pregnant women in the third trimester, but right now its happening to me. So I care. and I'll say this, I'll never lack sympathy for the general state of pregnant women.

Because right now, I can't seem to breathe very well (and by very well, I mean that I occasionally feel like I'm two breaths away from an asthma attack - i wish I was joking about this). Its a combination of the fact that the baby and baby luggage are shoving against my lungs (effectively compacted them and other organs) and that increased amounts of estrogen cause swelling of the mucous membranes (stuffy nose), plus I think I have a head cold or spring allergies.

but all of this would be nothing, nothing I tell you! IF i was allowed to drug myself up. but sadly no. I'm not. My old friend thera-flu, how I miss you. But to be clear, theoretically I can take anything I want, if I don't mind being my own guinea pig, since no one intentionally does drug testing on pregnant women (or at least publishes it).

Instead, I can have (in moderation) benadryl (not working for me), sudafed (gives me some nasty anxiety side affects), and for just a couple of days I can have afrin. Ooo- i love you afrin. Its too bad you're addictive.

and please, save the advice about vitamin C and hot showers and using a neti pot. I've been living there for the last 4 months and it ain't cutting it no more.

A few weeks ago, I had to get a glucose test.. you may recall my mentioning it assuming that I actually wrote about it.. i can't remember exactly.. but anyway.

oh wait, I did write about this because I distinctly recall bitching about the fact that I had started drinking blackstrap molasses (its still not that great) in an effort to get more iron in my system. If you didn't read the previous entry, basically I passed the glucose test but failed the iron/anemia test. In retrospect, if I had recalled that the iron test was occurring, instead of worrying about the glucose test, i would have prepared for it because this is something that I've had for several years and I know all about it. You should see me preparing to donate blood. but anyway, that's another story...

so I just had another check in with the midwives and the very nice lady wanted to make sure I was doing something about the "iron situation". (The thing is, I'm not at a bad level but I am definitely below normal. And if I drop too low, then the midwives won't take me anymore and I'll have to give birth in a hospital with a doctor and abide by all their anti-litigious policies.. so I am motivated to take this serious). And I told her that I had started eating more spinach and apricots, and drinking more OJ ('cause vitamin C helps your body absorb iron).

And then I said to her, "I was told to take an iron supplement but I didn't because I noticed that my prenatal vitamin already contains more than the recommended allowance for iron and my body doesn't seem to be absorbing that, so how would another supplement help?" I mean, I assume my body isn't absorbing it because otherwise, I wouldn't have an "iron situation". so she says, "are you still having regular bowel movements?" Hah! well, yes I am. I'm pretty damn regular. I tell her so.

and then she says, "What color is your stool?". and I tell her, its dark brown, which is really not the sign of happy stool but if you want to know more about that you have to read one of my other blogs.

but here is the funny thing. Iron supplements can actually cause black stool or even constipation and since I'm suffering from neither, my body can stand to have more iron supplements. yay. yay me.

So now I'm on iron supplements until we can make sure that I'm not heading for anemia or the hospital or the bathroom for that matter.

So I suppose its inevitable that I will one day become part of that despicable lot, the mommy-bloggers. To be even plainer, I don't like mommy-bloggers because they have always struck me as people who were capitalizing on their kids. and who wants to know about other people's kids (compared to my own uniquely amazing thoughts?)... I know, I know, blogging is a generally masturbatory exercise so who am I to judge.

but back to the point. I'm fascinated by my kid and its still in utero. So today's about Tubby, so named because 75% of my cats are overweight.

Currently, tubby appears to spend about 50% of the time kicking or punching me. So the other day, as I was examining a foot bulge that appeared in my stomach (sort of like in 'Alien' but with less screaming), an idea occurred. So I started tapping on tubby's foot with my finger. and after a few seconds the foot stopped shoving against my stomach, only to reappear seconds later on the other side. hah! that'll learn me. Tubby does what tubby wants.

I considered playing some more but stopped. I don't want to get into some weird habit of tapping on my stomach every time the baby kicks me.

So at some point a couple of months ago, I hit this "nesting" phase. I didn't particularly recognize it, i just figured it was a good time to get things done. I wound up hiring a maid service, buying baby furniture, scheduling lists of thing to do in the future, and a bunch of other stuff. And it wasn't like I had a lot of energy; i didn't. but the energy I had was pretty focused on getting stuff accomplished.

anyways, one of the things I did back then was order new blinds for the house. All our windows are a funky size so its not like any blinds will work. But I managed to score an amazing deal on a JC Penny's sale on custom cordless cellular blinds. The only problem was that, since they were custom a) i couldn't return them if I didn't like them and b) it took 5 weeks to make and deliver.

So today, they finally showed up! yay! and they fit the windows! double-yay!! The only problem is that I can't install them! BOOOO! Its not like its that hard either but for some reason, climbing up and down a step-ladder, marking up the frame for the install, pre-drilling the holes... well, i think you get the idea.

Evidently, I'm too far gone to handle home improvement projects. Which I should have realized when it completely tired me out to assemble the fantastic cradle swing we got a few weeks ago. So now, here I am all excited about the new blinds (for three rooms no less), and I lack the body power to do anything about it. its kind of sad.

and even worse, now I have to get my vicarious thrills by getting the loml to assemble and install all this stuff (did I mention that we just got a glider/ottoman that also needs to be put together?!). and the loml...., well let's just say he's not even half as excited about this stuff as I am.

waaahh... waaaaaaah.... waaaaaaaah : (

ok, maybe not everything. but its hitting that point where I keep waking up from sleep because of how uncomfortable I am. I sleep because I'm exhausted from lack of sleep, but then I wake up as soon as my body's gotten enough rest to be disturbed by the discomfort level. I hope you don't understand what this is like, because its close to an outer ring of hell for me.

i was so disturbed that today I bought a couple of new sleep/nursing bras (my old bras just aren't cutting it anymore and I firmly believe in throwing money at the problem if it will help).. of course the moment I try one on, the loml is like "what's with the ugly shirt thing.."? and then he quickly shut up after I gave him the look. But he didn't shut up in time to stop me from a mini-rant of how ALL maternity underwear is UGLY and if he wanted pretty maternity underwear, then HE COULD BUY IT FOR ME. note that his final comment upon further examination of my sleep bra was a muttered "how retarded".

but seriously, I'm not spending $50 on upwards for pretty maternity underwear. and that's not really what's causing the majority of discomfort anyway. but while I'm on the subject, I would like to state that maternity underwear is ridiculous. All my nice underwear from before still fits me. because its nice underwear, and not that cheap badly shaped mormon wear that they sell in 3 packs wrapped in a plastic bag.

seriously ladies, if you aren't happy about the state of your ass, what makes you think that a full coverage panty is going to make anything better? for the love of god, get some pretty lace-inset hipsters from Victoria Secret or something.. they're only $5 each and you'll feel much better about them. or if you hate VS, H&M also makes some really nice stretchy, comfy, lacy-type things that are affordable.

but whatever you do, don't buy your underwear in a plastic multi-pack. your ass deserves better (and yes, even the nice stuff comes in cotton if you like).. but nothing good comes from buying granny undies.. unless you are a granny and there is a reason you want them, but I'd rather figure this out for myself in another 20+ years. don't tell me.. TMI people..

Update:
ok now that I've had a chance to sleep on it, I realize that it's hypocritical of me to complain about not wanting to spend $50 on pretty maternity bras and then to also judge others for not wanting to spend a few more ducats on pretty underwear.

But I still believe that if it's reasonably possible for you to avoid buying awful underwear, then you should.