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May 12, 2010

update of the month

so i've been sleeping alot lately which is my excuse for not updating recently. yeah.. i know. lame excuse, but hey, look.. here is this entry.

So I've got about a month left, and evidently I've hit this stage where many people think I'm about to pop. Which I understand. I used to think the same thing about very pregnant looking women, "how much bigger can that woman possibly get? She must be ready to go!"..

maybe its the fault of the media. Does anyone really bother showing actual pregnant women on tv anymore? The last one I saw was Heidi Klume, and the camera was always very careful to only show her from the front onwards.. no real side view, and she is a victoria's secret model to boot.

but i guess that it would be a very odd tv show to feature very pregnant women, anyway. Its not as if they stay that way; you'd always have to find a new one. And then, what would they be doing? At least Heidi had a legitimate role in hosting project runway. and I'm not interested in watching other women give birth..

can't we show really pregnant women on tv doing anything else?

May 14, 2010

executive decisions

Today the loml and I came home and were inspecting the house. Our maid service had come by so we were checking the job they had done, when the loml pointed out that they hadn't emptied one of the trash cans. This was a little abnormal; the maids usually take out all the trash. But when I looked at the trash can, I thought I knew the answer. There were clothes in it and maybe the maid service thought we were storing them or something. And then I took a closer look at the clothes.

and I recognized them as some of the maternity clothes that I had just been given by a friend, who had recently had a child. I shot the loml a look, and he explained that he'd found the clothes when doing laundry. Upon examination, he'd found them to be so unbelievably ugly, that he had made the decision to throw them away.

"and", he said, "they have holes in them!". So I must explain something here. The loml is against anything that looks like "grandma" style underwear and sleeping garments. And I have to admit, these two nightgowns did fall into that category, but I had them for a reason. "Look!" I said to him and I held the gown up over my chest. "See these two holes right over my chest? These night gowns are for after you give birth and you are resting around the house. This way you can still breastfeed and not get dressed!".

but the loml was unrelenting. The things were ugly and had to be removed. He pointed out that they were long and flannel and would be really warm to wear in June. Was I really going to wear an ugly flannel nightgown all day in the summer just because it had holes for my boobs? (I really wish I had a picture of this thing now to show you.)

So I let them go with the proviso that if it turned out that I really did need clothes with boob holes in them, that he was the one who was going to have to get them for me. Last I saw, he didn't seem too intimidated by the prospect.

May 19, 2010


heh. Well today's topic may be a little TMI, and some of the links are definitely NSFW (and if you didn't get either of those acronyms then you should maybe hit up google before reading the rest of this entry).

So last weekend, I began my final round up of "things I need before the baby shows up", and one of those things was extra parts for my breast pump. You need extra parts just like you need extra sheets for the bed; cause sometimes stuff is dirty and you don't want to be dependent on the doing a wash before you get to sleep again. So I started browsing through amazon, building up my shopping list o' parts when I noticed something.

Breastshields, which are the plastic bits that fit over your nipples and such, come in different sizes. The normal part that comes with my pump is a medium, but they also sell a small, large, XL, and XXL. oh, ok.. well, what the hell? So I do a little more research and allegedly, ill-fitting breastshields can cause unpleasant pumping experiences like breast pain and decreased milk collection.

well, shit.. how do I know if the shield do-hickey is the right size then??
--- note* by now, I hope you can see where this story is going. So if you need to stop reading, now is a good time. ---

So I do what any reasonable person does, I googled it. And I found a couple of websites with pictures. Cause I'll be damned if I've ever closely inspected a nursing mother to evaluate the exact dynamics of the situation. Here are the two sites I found:
Site 1# Graphics from Medela, manufacturer of breastpumps. Now this site was ok, it sort of explained things, but yet, I still felt the need to keep on looking.

Site #2: Crazy pics of real breasts in mid-pump. At this point I realized that I would actually have to attach the pump to myself in order to compare to the pictures. So I assembled the sucker (ha. get it... sucker? haha) and tried it out. aaaaand.. no, I didn't quite look like the picture of the good fit. in fact, I looked more like the theoretical picture of the "breastshield is too big". WTF?

At this point, I had to get some help, so I hollered for the loml (in clear defiance of my 'no shouting' across the house policy, but I was a bit agitated). He showed up and I showed him the pump and my breast. "Do I have small nipples?", I asked. I thought I was being pretty calm but I must not have been because the loml started with the whole, "no baby, you look great" thing. and I was like "no, no, I mean it. Are my nipples smaller than other women? You've dated other woman, you tell me!" but he kept insisting that I was fine so I showed the pictures that I had found online.

"woah, that is an ugly picture", he said about link #2 (see the second set of pics...) which I agreed about, but he couldn't exactly provide any definitive answers to my questions. So I went ahead and ordered the extra parts anyway (which was other stuff besides the shields) and gave up the topic until the next day, when I was over at my cousin's house.

She's a breast-pumping momma, so I asked her about the actual fit of her pump and finally she goes, "ok, let's see 'em. Show me your nipples." Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever be in this spot, but whatever, I showed her. She thought they looked normal, though maybe a bit small... but then, her pump didn't fit like the pictures online either and it had always worked for her. so, ok fine.

and I swear I thought the whole thing was over until I was reading my basic infant care book and they started talking about nipple problems that could impact breastfeeding.. and there it was again.. my nipples didn't stick out like the illustration in the book. Well, did I need to buy extra parts for this or what? Why isn't this more clear???

So finally, the loml and I went to the midwifery practice today for a routine check-in and I said to the mid-wife. "I'm worried I may have small or inverted nipples." at which point, the loml pipes up and says "you never asked me about inverted nipples. I could've told you!" and I was like "You couldn't tell me what size my nipples were compared to your ex's". At which point the mid-wife steps in and offers to take a look. and I'm like "ok, that would be great", cause I've spent too much time on this as it is.

and she looks. and says, "they're not inverted. They sink a little but they still poke out... I don't think they're small. " and she follows this up with a thing about how you don't want nipples that are too big anyways, because sometimes babies have a hard time feeding off them. and then comes the big kiss-off. she says "maybe you are overthinking this."

and I am like WTF! This is what you say to someone when they are acting crazy. I would not be acting crazy if there was better information available about this topic instead of having to actually show my nipples to three different people to get a bonafide opinion! but ok.. ok.. maybe I did overthink it and I probably was getting a little crazy.. but anyway.

So I try to explain, "I wasn't going to be upset if I had small nipples (because seriously, who gets upset about that? People get upset about small boobs, not small nips), I just wanted to know in case I had to do something about it."

but ok - whatever. there you have it. I've already ordered extra parts and if it actually becomes a problem I'll deal with it later..

May 25, 2010

it's a boy!

ok - before anyone gets too excited. I did NOT have a baby, much less a baby boy. but as I was checking out at CVS today, the woman conducting my transaction started chatting me up about my pregnancy... and the fact that she was quite certain I was having a boy.

Again, my stomach is shaped like a basketball instead of a football, so in addition to it being "very cute", I am also "having a boy". First of all, thank you all. I guess its better to have a "very cute" belly, as opposed to... to what..? I know people mean well when they say things like this, and I'm really glad no strangers have rubbed my stomach (a small victory for my 'unapproachable' body language), but sometimes I can't believe people criticize me for not thinking before I speak. Seriously, its like a tribute to the divine comedy of life: a whole nation of people just waiting for the right opportunity to stick their feet in their mouths.

anyways, so evidently several representatives of the service industry feel that I am having a boy. That would be my last hair stylist, masseuse, corporate chef, cafeteria worker, and now the CVS cashier. So I informed the loml, but he's decided to stick with the opinion of our ultrasound technician, who was highly confident that we were having a girl.

and I'm hoping she was right, mainly because we haven't picked out or really even thought about a boy name. I'd hate to be choosing a name under pressure, cause that's when you come up with stuff like Ozzy. Which I've always thought would be an awesome name for a boy, but I'm sure there are lots a reasons not to pick it. Not that I can think of any.

See.. life is funny.

About May 2010

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